Out of Sea­son, 2000

Digit­al video, SD 720 × 576 4:3

06:10 min

Filmed in the Mal­vern Hills, Worcester­shire, UK

Per­formed by Andy Coltrane

Pro­duced by Grizedale Arts

A Chelsea foot­ball fan stands alone in the middle of a wood­land in sum­mer. He sings foot­ball chants as if on the terraces.

Fuck em all, fuck em all
United, West Ham, Liverpool
We are the Chelsea and we are the best
We are the Chelsea so fuck all the rest 

(repeated)

Who the fuck
Who the fuck
Who the fuck­ing hell are you
Who the fuck­ing hell are you

You’re not singing
You’re not singing
You’re not singing any more
You’re not singing any more

We hate Arsen­al and we hate Arsenal
We hate Arsen­al and we hate Arsenal
We hate Arsen­al and we hate Arsenal
We are the Arsen­al haters

Who’s the bas­tard in the black?
Who’s the baa-stard in the black?

Chim chi­meny chim chimeny
Chim chim cherroo
We hate those bas­tards in claret and blue

In Dublin’s fair city
Where girls are so pretty
I first laid my eyes on sweet Molly Malone
And she worked her wheel bar­row through streets broad and nar­row Singing
Chelsea, Chelsea
We are the fam­ous, the fam­ous Chelsea
We are the fam­ous, the fam­ous Chelsea
We are the fam­ous, the fam­ous Chelsea

My old man said be an Arsen­al fan
I said fuck off bol­locks you’re a cunt
We’ll take Arsen­al in half a minute
We’ll take Tot­ten­ham and all that’s in it
With our hatchets and spanners
Butcher’s knives and hammers
We’ll show the bas­tards how to fight
Cos we’re good old Chelsea
Good old Chelsea
Chelsea aggro boys
Get off my sister

Oh, Knees up Moth­er Brown
Knees up Moth­er Brown
Under the table you must go
Ee-i-ee-i-ee-i-oh
If I catch you bending
I’ll saw your legs right off
Knees up, knees up, don’t get the breeze up
Knees up Moth­er Brown
Oh my what a rot­ten song, sing
What a rot­ten song, sing
what a rot­ten song
Oh my what a rot­ten song, sing
What a rot­ten sing­er too-oo-oo

The fam­ous Tot­ten­ham Hot­spur went to Rome to see the Pope
The fam­ous Tot­ten­ham Hot­spur went to Rome to see the Pope
The fam­ous Tot­ten­ham Hot­spur went to Rome to see the Pope
And this is what he said, fuck off
Who’s that team they call the Chelsea
Who’s that team we all adore
We’re the boys in blue and white
And we’ll fight with all our might
and we’re out to show the world how to score
Bring on Tot­ten­ham or the Arsenal
Bring on Scousers by the score
Bar­celona, Real Madrid
Tot­ten­ham are a load of Yids
And we’re out to show the world how to score